Where to start?

I guess starting at the beginning would be best right?

After three years of being unsuccessful at keeping a pregnancy, Wesley was conceived in February of 2004. It was one of the happiest moments in my life when that pregnancy stick showed two blue lines. I took three tests just to be sure. My husband, Tim was so excited to be a dad. My pregnancy was pretty normal. I had small bouts of morning sickness, aching back, and lots of cravings. I did develop gestational diabetes, but I was able to control it well with diet and insulin. Wesley was born on October 26, 2004 at 37 weeks gestation. My water broke on a Monday night at 10pm and by 12pm the following day, Wes was here. My labor was good and I didn't need any drugs until the end because I had stalled at 8cm. Wesley started to go into distress and needed forceps to help him out. He came out awfully blue but recovered well and spent a night in NICU.

He was always a very difficult baby. He wanted to be held all the time, and wouldn't sleep through the night until he was almost 6 months old and we had to "sleep train" him. He remained a difficult baby if we went off his routine, or there was too much going on around him. He seemed to be developing normally but I was a first time parent and didn't see the signs. Looking back, I now see those signs. Wesley made but never maintained eye contact and never babbled all that much. Sure he would make noises, but not always. He started to say some words by his first birthday, but by the time he turned 16-18 months, all those words seemed to disappear. He rarely made or maintained eye contact. He always played alone, even when I tried to play with him. He started having stimulations or stimming. He banged his head on the backs of couches and chairs, he would flap his arms, spin anything he could, and would spin around or circle around objects. He still wasn't talking, but could sing any song verbatum after only hearing it a couple of times. I took him numerous times to his Pediatrician only to be told he was fine and everything he was doing was normal. Deep down, I knew there was an underlying issue, but trusted his doctor more then my instincts.

When Wesley turned about 20 months and still wasn't conversing with us, I decided to look elsewhere. I called Early Intervention and got him started in therapy and consulted a Developmental Pediatrician to evaluate him for Autism. Deep in my soul, I knew he was on the Spectrum for Autism.

February 9, 2006 we were given Wesley's diagnosis. He did indeed show signs of having Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD. We aren't sure exactly where he is on the spectrum because most kids aren't really diagnosed until they are 3. I've seen great improvements with his attention span and vocabulary since he started therapy. With this diagnosis, we are able to get him even more therapy and sessions with a behavioralist. I am seeking therapy called Applied Behavior Analasys which has been known to "cure" ASD even though there is no actual cure as of yet.

I long for the day that Wesley looks into my eyes and says "I love you Mommy" unprompted and totally of his own free will. For now, I'll take him repeating "I love you" when I say it. It melts my heart when he runs up to me and jumps in my lap for loves and kisses. He will always be my beautiful green eyed boy (or stinky butt). No diagnosis will ever change how much I love him and how greatful I am that he's in my life. It's a very difficult road ahead of us, but one that with love, support, and dedication, we'll make through.

I wanted to start this blog to not only help myself with my feelings of having a child with ASD, but as an opportunity to remember that if I can make it past this, I can make it past the rest.