Just one of the boys

We're getting to the last days to get outside and play at the playground before the snow starts to pile up. We took advantage to the small amount of sun and let the kids run loose last weekend. When we pulled up, we noticed there were about 6 to 7 older boys playing a game with a soccer ball. They were throwing each other "out" using the ball. Neither of my boys paid attention to them at first, but then Wes became kind of interested. He was watching from afar, flapping and squealing like a mad man. I don't remember ever seeing him this interested without it being adult directed. After 10 minutes of watching and swinging, he went up to one of the boys and said "Ball, please". I was a bit stunned. My first reaction was to tell Wes that he was too little to play with those big boys. One of them actually said he could play with them. I thanked him for offering but told him we'd pass. Wes didn't get the concept of how they were playing and they were much bigger boys then he. I guided him back to the swings and was able to distract him for 5 minutes. He jumped off the swing, ran over to another boy and said "Ball, please". This time, I didn't say a word. The boy handed him the ball, to which Wes threw the ball in the opposite direction. This was exciting to him and he showed it by jumping and bouncing all around. He asked one more time before the boys started to leave. I watched my four year old standing at the fence and actually watching the boys walk away. He looked disappointed, almost sad.

It was almost like watching him be a typical 4 year old. He wanted to play with others and he even initiated the social situation. To see him take in what these boys were doing, process it, and decide it was something he wanted to do too made me cry. Knowing that this is so hard for him and that he wants to be a part of the group and a part of a social circle makes me hurt for him. Also knowing that getting him involved in as many social situations that we can has been helping him. I don't push him to interact with others. I do make him greet people and give eye contact, but the rest I leave up to him. I want him to feel comfortable, and not forced. It will come. It's actually emerging right now.