I feel like I can't breathe.
I'm alone.
Swimming in this ocean with no life vest.
To make matters worse, I'm desperately trying to keep my child above water.
I'm failing.
I'm trying to keep this persona that I've got it covered, I'm in control, that everything is going fine. It's not and I can't keep up that image anymore. I don't know what I'm doing. The moment I think I have Wes figured out and things are working, I lose it and they stop. These are the days that I feel like an inadequate parent and wonder what the hell God was thinking giving me a special needs child. I'm not equipped to handle him. I'm not even equipped to be a parent. I need to find peace in my life, but where do I squeeze that in?
Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe.
Fast Forward
It's been nearly 9 years since my last post. Wow, have things changed! I'm not sure why I stopped posting to my blog. It was mos...
6 comments:
Definately sounds like time to get together ... can't wait to see everyone Wednesday.
(((hugs)))
Wes is very lucky to have you.
Don't beat yourself up Jessica! You're doing the best you can do and that's all our kids can ask for. I can't even imagine what it's like on a daily basis. Hope things have gotten a little better!
Jess, I know I'm your Mom, but I have never met any one with so much courage, and love for their child. Wes came into your life for a reason and only God knows the future. I do feel as though you are where he wants you to be. You are the best Mom I've seen in a long time. You need to stop and smell the roses for yourself. You are a person as well as a Mom. Don't lose yourself in all the confusion.
Love You
Mom
I ask the same question all the time..."why me?, I'm not fit for being a special needs mom!" but then I tell myself to shut up and keep moving forward. Our kids' futures are in our hands and we HAVE to fight for them...find and give them the best treatments/therapies possible. Yes, it's exhausting in every way and no NT mom would ever understand. Just take it one day at a time...
From what i see here on your blog i think you are a fantastic mum.
Your human too, so tomorrow will be a better day.
Hug
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