I'm not the kind of mom who jumps in on every scuffle my kids get into on the playground. I try to let them solve the problem themselves at first, unless someone is being physical. Conflict resolution is a big part of being an adult in this society.
It's an absolute beautiful day here today and I knew the playground would be busier then usual. Typically, there are a group of 3 to 4 mom's who meet up with their kiddos for some playtime. These mom's gossip, but keep an eye on their children. Well not this group today.
I knew from the moment we walked into the fenced in area that these mom's were here merely to chit chat and ignore their children. I was right. One mom in particular seemed less then interested that her children were being bullies to the other children. The first incident was one of the kids took a truck away from Casey. This is where I didn't step in. I wanted to see what Casey would do. Being the passive aggressive one, he just stood there and watched. After 30 seconds, he ran away to find something else to play with.
As I was trying to keep an eye on both boys, I noticed a little one, a bit bigger then Casey, come up behind him and shove him to the ground. Casey wasn't hurt, but he was stunned. After glancing to make sure Wes was alright, I took off after Casey. I picked him up, brushed him off and gave him a hug. Meanwhile mean mom came over and said that she just saw her little one running away and was Casey alright. Here is how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: Casey is fine, but your little boy pushed him from behind for no reason.
Mean Mom: Well he's non-verbal and doesn't understand. Sorry
Me: I understand what it's like to have a non-verbal child, but that isn't an excuse for him to push my son without saying sorry. I think it would be best for him to apologize so he understands.
MM: Johnny (made up name), come here please. (running after him at this point)
You made this little boy upset because you pushed him. We don't push our
friends. Say you're sorry.
At this point, Johnny is squirming and screaming.
Me: Thank you.
I walk away with Casey in my arms. He and I go to the sandbox and start digging. I don't want him anywhere near those kids. Five minutes later, there were two older boys from the group that were inside a crawl space under the equipment. They had two dump trucks. Casey likes to play with older boys so I just followed to see what would happen. Mean Mom's older boy screamed "Ewww, go away baby!" and threw dirt in Casey's face. Mean Mom was no where to be found (typical) so I stepped in. I told this little devil spawn that what he did was not nice and he needed to apologize right away for throwing dirt at Casey. I explained that Casey likes to play with older boys because they are fun. I don't think it mattered to devil spawn.
Shortly before we left, I noticed devil spawn terrorizing another child. He told the boy that he didn't want to play with him because he was "weird". On the occasion that Mean Mom stepped in, she just calmly told the boy he needed to share and to be nice to his friends. No discipline, no consequences for his behavior, nothing.
I had to fight back what I really wanted to say to this mother, but I'll let the future slap her in the face when her kids are older and wards of the state.
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4 comments:
Some parents just don't watch their kids! So how does this conflict resolution work? I am confused, what is passive aggresive? I thought it had something to do with being a pain in the ---. Why do you describe Casey that way?
Conflict resolution is coming up with a solution to solve your problems that satisfies everyone. I want Casey to learn to solve problems without always needing me to help. Of course, I'll always help if he asks, but I won't do something for him.
Casey is passive aggressive because he's very stubborn and is always doing things he shouldn't to get attention. In the playground case, I was waiting for him to sneak the truck away when the little boy wasn't looking.
Sigh - proof yet again that if children are left to their own devices it is more Lord of the Flies than we want to realize....
Kids can be really mean...I won't bore you with a recent playground saga but if the "little jerk's" mom wasn't there, I would have accidentally tripped him...well, at least that's my fantasy!
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