It's Friday. There's no school. No real agenda. Just, Friday. I wanted to take the boys to our community pool for a swim before lunch. The pool opens at 10 and I figured it would give them ample time to play and wear themselves right out.
There are multiple pools in this city, but only one that opens at 10am during the week. The rest aren't open until after lunch which bugs me. I know the city is on a tight budget and they don't want to pay all those lifeguards so I just deal. Anyway, the park that the pool is located is going through some changes. They are making a larger parking lot, which is needed, and updating the fields. The old parking lot is closed and people must park on the street. For some reason, this change didn't hit me until we had parked on the street and Wes started the climb that is a meltdown. We pushed through it. I loaded both boys into the stroller, grabbed our bag of towels and such and off we went down the path. As we got closer, I didn't see the little water toys on and thought maybe they weren't opening the pool this morning. I started to panic just a little. The closer we got, I could tell they were just getting it open and we were all set.
I pulled the stroller into the pool area and parked it in a corner. One of the lifeguards started the water mushroom , and this triggered the full on meltdown. Wes sat on the stroller, practically curled up in a ball crying and shaking while covering his ears. I was a bit confused because we had been to this pool multiple times this year and never had this problem before. What on earth was going on with him?! Casey ran into the water and started playing. He was having fun already, but it was no picnic for Wes.
I picked him up, stroked his back and started counting. Sometimes that calms him down. This didn't work. Over and over he repeated "shoes please" and "time to go". I told him that he would be okay but he just covered his ears even harder. I rocked and hugged him tight. I wasn't sure if I should get him to push through it or just pack up and cut our losses right there. I let him go back to the stroller and Casey and I swam for a little bit. I felt horrible letting him cry, but I felt just as horrible dragging Casey out of there after we just got there. What was I going to do? I decided to pack it up and go home.
While walking back to the car, I asked Wesley if the sound of the water hurt his ears. I didn't really expect a response but I got one. He looked me straight in the eye and said "yes". So I asked again just to be sure and I got another "yes". I knew that it must have by the way he was blocking his ears, he wouldn't open his eyes and of course the near screaming.
Then the flood of emotions hit. I felt horrible for not getting him out of there right away. I felt sad because Casey was having so much fun and we had to leave so early. I felt a bit irritated that that's one more thing we can't do this summer. I know that last one is horrible of me, but it's what I felt. I tried not to let that one show.
I hope that the start of school will help him organize himself and get him back into his rhythm. This summer was not very pleasant but I'm learning from it and next summer will hopefully be better.
Friday, August 1, 2008
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3 comments:
Awww that is too bad hun! Im so sorry it did not go well! I have Mondays off now in addition to another weekday. Maybe we can plan something within the next 2 weeks.
Sorry it was such a tough one. We should get together again soon.
You know, I don't know anyone personally who has a child with autism. I've read bits and pieces here and there on different message boards, but never really git it, if you know what I mean...
This post tugged at my heart. You paint a very clear picture of what it is to be pulled in a million different directions and how challenging your every day life can be.
Sounds like you're doing a great job :-)
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