Battle on all fronts

We had to cancel Wes's Speech evaluation AGAIN today! I am getting so fed up with all of this. Have I mentioned that I hate insurance companies. Let me start at the beginning of my day...

Casey woke up around midnight last night and couldn't breathe so I brought him into the bathroom and ran the shower. It seemed to help, but we had a hard time getting him back to sleep. Once he finally fell asleep, he woke up a little after 5am and was hungry so Tim gave him a bottle. The rest of the morning seemed to go by okay until I got a call from the ST.

She was calling to postpone our appointment because our insurance company will only pay (100%) of the speech sessions if they are done as an outpatient or in an office. Oh come on!!! Are you kidding me?!? That is the most ridiculous clause I have ever heard in my life! They also need to see a copy of the referral before any therapy can be started and before they will pay for any of it. Now why in H E double hockey sticks couldn't they have told us all this when we called last week! Instead we got the run around, but they were willing to tell the therapist everything. I am fuming mad! So I asked Tim to call the insurance back and do not take no for an answer. I want everything that Wes will be covered for laid out with certainty. He said they won't do it so we got into a fight and he stormed out of the house. Then when I got Casey up this morning, he proceeds to spit up all over my clean clothes! Does God have it out for me today!?!

Tim and my fight has been coming on. There is this pamphlet we received through our local Autism Society. In it there is a section called withdrawal and over involvement. It says that when a child has a disability, one parent tends to stay remote while the other jumps in with both feet. That's a great way to describe what is happening to Tim and I. I totally feel like he is watching from the sidelines while I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I'm on the phone almost all morning making phone calls, setting up appointments, trying to get the necessary documentation, making sure I'm home for all therapies and they aren't double booked. I just can't take it anymore. When we're home together, it's still me on the floor doing therapeutic activities with Wes. I try to get him involved but he doesn't seem like he wants to be bothered. It is so frustrating. Wes is completely attached to me and I know why. It's because I'm the one who is always interacting with him nearly 24/7. I would like to see him have a better relationship with his father, but the effort needs to be put in on Tim's part. Wesley doesn't have the capacity to do it. I know this post is going to bring up some hurt feelings and not only from Tim. However, this is my place to vent and get out my feelings and I need to do just that because I'm not being heard anywhere else.