Merry Christmas to all

Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope 2009 is easier on you and brings you lots of joyous moments. God Bless

Sigh

Daddy: You need to listen to Mommy and Daddy. No more screaming and yelling.

Casey: I know, but I cute.


Oh man.

Early Christmas Present

After a follow up appointment with Wes' gastro (more on that later) Tim and wanted to take the kids out to eat for being good. We've been cutting back on eating out a lot so it was a nice treat. We headed to Friendly's for some yummy food and even yummier ice cream. It was pretty quiet at first, and then started to get real busy. Sitting in a booth behind us was a family with a little boy probably about the age of three. He was so cute, but was giving his parents a bit of a headache. The mom told him to come sit on her side of the booth which happened to be the side closest to us. A couple of times, the little boy popped his head our way and giggled. Wes was done eating and was laying down. The second time the boy popped over, Wes sat up, smiled and said "Hi Dougie!" I have no idea who Dougie is but did he just initiate a greeting all on his own?! The Mom laughed and told her son to ask what his name was. Wes immediately piped up "My name is Wesley". Again, we were amazed. He replied with help from his mom that his name was Matthew. I waited to see what Wes did and when he didn't respond, I told him to say "Hello, Matthew". The two played a quick game of peek-a-boo and then were instructed to sit down and eat their foods. Tim and I couldn't have been more pleased.
It was the best Christmas gift we could ever receive. To see our child make a connection with a child he has never seen before. To be delighted in what a child his age is expected to do just melted my heart. I can not wait for school to start so I can share this with his teachers!

Murphy's Law

When one child is sick, it's going to run like Usain Bolt through our house. And it did. Coughing, fevers, stuffy noses, runny noses, and ear infections.

Both boys had been feeling under the weather but nothing that warranted a call to the doctors until today. Wes woke up as his usual self but still wasn't eating a good breakfast. An hour later, he ran over to me in tears that I've never seen before. I could tell his cry was a pain cry and it was serious. He tolerates pain pretty well. Fifteen minutes after getting hurt, he's fine, off and running. This time was different. I rocked and consoled him as best I could until the Childrens Advil kicked in and the doctors office opened. By the time I was able to call, he was totally tuned out to the pain. I kept asking him what hurt to make sure he understood and the story didn't change. He kept clutching at his ear and crying. At one point, he grabbed my hand and said "Boo Boo ear Mama! Rub, rub, rub!" I lost it. I can't stand when my babies are in pain and I can't take it away for them. I was so greatful that he could tell me what hurt instead of the guessing game like usual. That's even worse.

So 3 hours later, both kids have ear infections and will be on antibiotics for the next 10 days. Meanwhile, Tim and I are still suffering through our colds. Did I mention that I hate winter?

Message from Santa

This is so adorable. Thank you to Peggy over at Lucky Number 7 , who sent this over to me. You can have Santa send your little one a message over the Internet. You just answer a couple of questions about your child, upload a picture and watch their personal video from Santa. Might give those who need reminding to be good an extra incentive to be extra good.

Not perfect, but close

I don't believe in the word perfect because nothing is perfect. Everything has it's flaws.

Now, I know my last post was a downer, but I'm sort of a literal thinker myself. After taking a few days to think about it (and a comment from a blogger Dad who I hold much respect for), I need to look at what he has accomplished since last year rather than how much farther he needs to go. He has made huge progress and I do notice that, but my brain is always thinking of what's coming next. He has a pretty solid IEP this year. It's not perfect, but I can't expect it to be. It will certainly meet his needs and help propel him forward for next year.

Today was the annual IEP meeting for Wesley. It's not perfect, but I can't expect it to be. It will certainly meet his needs and help propel him forward for next year with just the right amount of pushing. Listening to all of his team made me see that I need to change my thinking. Every last one had said how much progress he's made since last year and that while he has a way to go, he's moving ahead at a steady pace. He's able to sit in circle time, he's able to participate and complete art projects, make center choices on his own and help lead the class when it's his turn. Last year, it was a miracle to get him to even sit in a table near circle without a tantrum. I say that's pretty big.

My other mission is to stop thinking like one of Wes' therapists and start thinking like his Mom. I can still help him learn and grow without constantly obsessing on what he is or isn't doing at this moment. It's taking away from my ability to just love him and make sure he knows he can count on me and depend on me for whatever he needs.

Sucker punched

You know when you think finally things are going your way. You finally feel comfortable with something and you know where you're headed? Then BOOM! Something puts you back into reality and it just totally sucks. That's how I feel.

I was starting to become comfortable with Wesley's future. He seemed to be making awesome progress in both the social and speech area's. I could stop dreading what was to come. Then I get the draft copy of his IEP for our meeting on Monday and I'm sucker punched back into reality. To see his progress, or lack of progress, on paper makes me feel ill. I'm proud of the work he's done and I know none of it was easy for him. I just can't stop seeing the deficits and feeling like we're never going to get where he should be.

The school uses the Rubric scale. Each subject, if you will, is broken down to area's and each area is broken down to levels. So fine motor might be broken down into 5 area's and those five area's are broken down into levels. They changed the scale since last year since that was the first year they used it, so I can't really compare from last year's IEP. Once again, in one area, he's not even on the scale. How heartbreaking that is for me to see. It's almost like we've gone backwards. Of course there are some subjects that he's just taking off and that's great. I see him starting to spell words and counting to 30, but then he just can't seem to cut with a pair of scissors or play next to a peer.

So I spent another night crying for my son and where he's at. I need to just push through those feelings and work even harder with him turning every single thing we do into a lesson. I'm contacting all this outside therapists for any recommendations they think he would benefit from in school and making sure they are added into his IEP.

Even God got a day to rest, so I'm waiting for my turn.